Houston Texans David Anderson Standup Comedy To Benefit Houston Dynamo - 2010 Anderson on his Texans teammate Owen Daniels He’s a young, single man. As far as I know, disease-free. Every time I go out w...

Houston Texans David Anderson Standup Comedy To Benefit Houston Dynamo - 2010 Anderson on his Texans teammate Owen Daniels He’s a young, single man. As far as I know, disease-free. Every time I go out with Daniels, everyone wants to come up and talk about fantasy football. Fantasy this, fantasy that. Now don’t get me wrong, I love football. But I don’t fantasize about football. If I have a fantasy, I need like … tissue paper … high speed internet and 2 1/2 minutes to myself at night. Or 10 minutes in the afternoon if I got nothing to do. That’s MY fantasy. If Owen Daniels is the Jenna Jameson of fantasy football, what does that make me? I’m like the amateur girl on page 12 that no one wants to see…. That’s a masturbation joke for all you old people out there. Anderson lamenting the constant advertising by the University of Phoenix and the embarrassment of attending the school I have never in my entire life met anyone who goes to the University of f—ing Phoenix. Have you? They need to switch their advertising slogan “The University of Phoenix … NO ONE HAS TO KNOW” Anderson ...

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